Kelly: Good morning, everyone, good evening, or wherever you're in your day. Welcome to the Girlfriend's Guru Podcast, Talk. Travel. Transformation. I'm delighted to have one of my friends, my favorite spiritual gurus, David Bosscher, joining me today. We're geared up to share tools for transformation and help reveal the unique gifts that you have been brought into this world to express.
I believe personally, our soul is limitless and infinite with potential, and the only limitations are the ones we set for ourselves. We are moving into a unique energy this month. So learn how you can best take advantage of it and connect to your true potential and become unlimited. Welcome David.
David: Hi! Thanks for having me.
Kelly: I am so excited about you being here. For everyone who doesn't know, David is a conscious career coach. He's founder of the company, Destroy the Hairdresser, and he has spent his formative years studying the ancient wisdom of Kabbalah. So to it...
So, wow. Last month's energy, Taurus, full moon in Taurus - it took a long time getting through. Man, this pandemic went on forever and I know it's been hard here, but guys, for those of you that don't know, David spent it in New York City. So David, what was it like in New York during the stay at home order?
David: Um, it was scary. We actually have moved out of the city due to the pandemic for a few reasons. One, New York City is expensive to live in, but that expense kind of gets worse when you can't do anything in an expensive city. So we decided to leave and find a place nearby that we had more space. And I think that that's the energy of right now is everyone is expanding, kind of figuring out, taking stock of what they actually want in life.
I think that a normal process that people go through is "What I want to do in my life. Who do I want my life? Who should I cut out of my life?" This is a big question people ask themselves. When you go into something like a pandemic, it kind of does it for you because sometimes we don't like to do the work ourselves and the universe gives us a little bit of help. Unfortunately people don't change until the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of change, and pandemics and things like that we see in the world that are happening just like political uprising in situations like that also force us to change.
So it's a really horrible experience, but it's also a really good experience for everyone to go through at the same time.
Kelly: Absolutely. And we are going to talk about all of that during this podcast, I know that you and I both spoke a lot during the stay at home order. And we were really there for each other and we took some time for both our personal healing and to do some deep transformative work.
And, now we are moving into the positive part of that healing energy as we are moving into the month of June. And by the way, you know, we were in our cocoon, but - and if you weren't in your cocoon and you spent a lot of the month resisting it, don't worry, we're going to give you some tools to jump into that cocoon and do some deep work so that you can take advantage of the shift in energy because we have the ability to connect to some powerful energy this month and June is about taking back control of our lives. And we're going to share with you what's ahead because it's going to be different than what we've been experiencing the last few weeks. We're not going to be going back to that energy. Good news for those of you who have felt dragged down and things were moving in slow motion because now is a time where things should start being pick up as we move into the month of Gemini. So I can't wait, what about you, David?
David: So, it's interesting that you use the word cocoon on your podcast due to the butterfly ideology and kind of going inward and introspection. In Kabbalah there's something called Tikkun, which means to repair and Kabbalistically, everyone's soul goes through it the Tikkun process in order to change and develop. And that's why we're here. So I just want to point out that it's kind of funny, the relationship between the word cocoon and Tikkun.
Kelly: I never thought of that! That's awesome. I love it. I love that. Oh, that makes me smile.
David: And the other thing is, we just came out of the process Kabbalistically called the Omer, and that is a 49 day process after the holiday of Passover. I think a lot of times people think of those holidays as Jewish holidays, but Kabbalists don't believe that they are Jewish holidays - they believe that they're holidays that can be observed by all people and that they're windows in time. So when Passover happens, which in Hebrew, it's called Pesach. When that happens, there's a window in time for all people. After Passover ends there's also a window in time called the Omer. And the Omer is, like you said, it kind of felt like we were in mud, right? Like time slowed down. So it's kind of interesting that during the Omer, which is a very slow, energetic time that slows us down, we're not actually supposed to do anything during the Omer. That's a large commitment. We're not supposed to sign leases, buy new cars. Technically, we don't even buy new clothes. We don't buy anything new because the soil during that time is not good. So it's interesting that quarantine during the pandemic was during the Omer process. And now we're coming into June with the new moon of Gemini. So we now have Gemini energy coming in, the Omer ends, we're coming into this more fast paced environment. If anyone's a Gemini, they understand and that energy it's much faster. It's much more dynamic. And interestingly enough, not only are things speeding up, but now we have, you know, with like the racial issues that are going on in America right now, the energy of that is speeding up.
It's faster. It's out, we're out. People are protesting, people are moving, people have something to say. So it's very interesting. Energetically, you can kind of see how these moments and these movements and these pandemics and all of it is lining up with how the windows in time operate.
And I don't want to minimize any of those. I don't want to minimize these two big experiences, but I think sometimes when we understand the energy that is in the air, we can dress better for it. I mean, if you know that it's going to be 30 degrees outside, it's good to know that information so you can prepare for it.
And so I think by knowing the energy is available, people can prepare themselves for what's coming.
Kelly: Absolutely. And, you know, we were speaking before this podcast and one of the things that David and I want to share with you is this is a time to reveal and utilize your super power, and when I'm using the word super power, that may or may not resonate with everyone.
But what I'm tapping into is, for example, we, as the Spiggle family have been watching a lot of Marvel movies lately, and there's always the storyline where the hero goes through this serious internal struggle. It may be an identity crisis, but they’re going through the struggle and order to reach the conclusion. That there is something that needs to change or something they need to do in order to tap into a calling and become the superhero that they were meant to be.
And if you're not a superhero fan, this can still apply to you. I actually spoke about the movie Groundhog's Day at my last winter energy retreat and in the movie Groundhog's Day. Bill Murray plays an average human being. He lives a life that is full of chaos until he realizes he has to stop thinking about just himself. Until he started living an intentional and mindful life and a life of sharing, then every day would look the same.
So Girlfriends, if you don't want your days to look like a rinse and repeat of each other, stay with us, okay?
David: Rinse and repeat. I like that.
Kelly: I like that. Yeah. So, so there's alchemy in the struggle, right? That's how David taught me. That in the darkness is how the light is revealed. Tell everybody a little bit about that sort of dark / light analogy.
David: Well, I think that there are a lot of people out there in like the spiritual consciousness communities that are spending their time in the light. I mean that by, I know Kelly, you teach yoga. I know that other people teach meditation and those are really good ways to stay in the light that you have.
But the only way to actually reveal light is to go into those really dark places. So when I coach people, they have a hard time because they want to stay in what they call positive mindset. And that's not really how Kabbalists work on things. And that's not really how I coach on things.
The real change is in those darker areas. The real change is when you're not meditating, when you're not doing yoga, when you're not in a positive mood... We like to use the analogy of a house. Like, we all live in these big, beautiful mansions, we put our garbage in all the rooms, and then we kind of confine ourselves to a very small portion of the house. Yet, the universe is saying, "I've given you this beautiful large home and you've stuffed it with garbage." And so our goal in coaching is for having people be more conscious is to start opening the doors of those of those rooms and start slowly taking out that garbage.
It's not about becoming a better person. It's not about becoming more positive, for me at least. It's not about becoming what I think it's supposed to be spiritual. It's about cleaning my house. It's about cleaning my consciousness. And so I go into these rooms, we clean out the garbage and now I can enjoy that room. Now I can decorate it. I can fill it. I can share it. But unless we actually do that work, we're kind of just sitting in the light that we already have. So the goal of Kabbalah is to transform the dark areas of our life into light, and that is not something that most people want to do.
Kelly: Absolutely. But you know, that's part of the reason why I use yoga and meditation and teach those modalities because I feel like sometimes people live in their heads and they need to get really in their body and they have so much blockage.
They don't even know where to begin. So, use those tools to start the process, but that's why I make sure to do the Winter Energy Retreat, the Spring Energy Retreat, doing the retreats where we go and have a little bit deeper dive where I to bring people like David and Tracy Podesta.
I love the analogy that you used of clearing out the rooms, because on an earlier podcast, I had an organizational expert come because you need to physically clean your spaces... but we're getting side tracked.
So let's talk about, because in a movie there's a productive struggle and then, voila, in two hours, there's a resolution. We don't have two hours for our podcast, right? So let's get everybody out of that Groundhog's Day loop and let's get real. Let's get honest with ourselves and let's talk about the triggers that keep popping up and keep holding us back.
David, let's take everyone in a deep dive because I believe the soul is limitless and it is infinite in its potential and through the teachings that you and I have had through some of the same teachers, we've learned how the body can be weighed down by these limitations and the desire to receive.
But the soul is boundless and infinite in its desire to share. And that's why doing the work - what we're going to do today, is a way to connect back to our soul and we can uncover the truth that only the limitations are the ones that we set for ourselves. So let's start becoming unlimited.
David, like you said, you are a coach and so many people and teachers say "think big will attract big, think small attract small." You know, they make it sound so slogany.
And I don't think its like, "Okay! I'm going to think big and it's all big. So let's, go!"
David: I think people do believe that a little bit. When I teach people about manifestation, which is... and you know, that I have a really hard time with like, fluffy corporate, corporate corporatized spirituality. Is that a word?
I think it's misleading and confusing, and there's also this extreme amount of pressure for everyone to be positive and think positive. Like, don't say that, because it's not positive. I don't know if that really holds a lot of weight.
I don't think being positive is a bad thing, but I definitely think that anger, frustration, all of those, what we would call them, negative emotions actually create more of a productive change. If I'm thinking positive all the time, I probably will never change. I wouldn't have to when it's good. So I think there's a level of getting to a place where you know, it’s okay. Like, why am I angry? That's going to allow me to create change, not ignoring my anger and thinking positively.
Kelly: Because the bottom line, you and I have talked about this, is who is running the show? It's our thoughts and it's our belief system. And let's get to uncovering this belief system that is running the show because there's a lot of subconscious and maybe sometimes conscious, but there's a lot of subconscious programming that, that we need to clear.
So let's do the work because if we all want to elevate and find our wings and fly, it's like, you take a 10 story building and you want to make it a thousand story building. What's preventing us from just building? Do we just build 990 more stories on top? It's not that simple. You have to build a significant foundation, the foundation you don't see, but without it, you can't have a big building.
And it's the same thing to manifest big things. And to be limitless, you have to build the belief system to support it. So let's unpack.
David: I think belief systems are tough. I mean, when you start talking about belief systems, you can talk about all the reasons you hate women, because your mother was a bad person. You can talk about all the reasons you don't like Muslims, because Muslims are bad people, because that's what I learned going to church. You can talk about gay people, black people… belief systems are really tough and they're really, they're really deep rooted, like you said. And I think, I think that all people are different and very interesting in their belief systems, but there's one belief that everyone shares. And it's that I exist separately than everyone else. Everyone has that belief. That's why we have all those other beliefs. That's why you can look and say that is a Muslim, that is a black person, that is a gay person, that's a non-spiritual person, that is a spiritual person - because I am separated from all these people.
So that's one belief that we all have in common. And when you get down to the core of real spirituality, whether it's yoga practices, whether it's meditation practices, whether it's spiritual studies any real ancient study will tell you we're all one. But what that really means is getting down to understanding that you believing that you are separate than everyone else, that you are not part of what's happening in front of you. That is already saying we are not one. I am one and you are another. And so the core belief that most people need to start working on, myself included on a daily basis is that we are one.
Now I would like to say that doesn't mean I have to get along with everyone. It just means I have to have the understanding that we are all one. We are all one in this together. And the planet's kind of an interesting analogy of that because we all think we're different, but we're all floating around on this one space, right? And we're all doing different things to it, but everything that we do affects the other person.
So yes, we have all these other beliefs that we can go to therapies for and we should go to therapy for them. But the real, the real belief is, is feeling that I am, I am separate than you. I am an individual in the sense that we are not the same. And that's a huge belief that people, once you start working on that, then you have, let's say a butterfly effect with all the other changes that you have to make.
Kelly: Well, and isn't the energy of a Gemini and the twins where the two really need to work on unity? And I do think unity is definitely the energy of this, this time and this month, I actually ran across one of my favorite Rumi quotes. I always spend the morning doing a little bit of soul work and the quote is: "Actually your soul and mine are the same. We appear and disappear in each other." And it just gave me time to, reflect and remember that we all come from the same divine source and we are all equal. So, just in light of what is going on in the world around us, actually just remembering your soul and my soul are the same. We appear and disappear in each other. We all come from the same divine source. We are all equal.
David: It's interesting about, you know, the month of Gemini is all about unity, but it is the two twins. But there's also, another energy to being the two twins. They have to face each other and also find differences amongst themselves.
So I think it's living in both worlds at once. It's saying we're all one, but also recognizing that we are all different, but yet we are still all one, right? It's a very hard dance. People think consciousness sometimes is one way, which we're all one and that's the end of the conversation. But consciousness means I can live in many different worlds at once. I can see many different angles at once. On one hand, I can see that we're all one, and I'm the other. I can see that we're different, right? On one hand, I know that we're all one and everyone should be treated with respect. And on the other hand, I understand that maybe as I'm a gay man, it's really important that a straight man understands that we are the same, but yet we are also different and to have the twins, I think during Gemini, that energy is being able to build yourself and live in both of those worlds.
Kelly: David, did you catch, I caught this this morning, you know, Minnesota is the twin cities.
David: Right.
Kelly: And I think, it's interesting, you know, the twin cities of Minnesota do have some of the largest racial inequalities in the United States. And I do think it's a microcosm of what we're going through on the yin and the yang so many different levels. And I would love to come back and do a whole podcast on all of that. But we digress… We went really big, cause that's the energy of this month.
Let's take it back to the individual. Let's talk about our vessel for right now and our ability to be limitless.
David: In Kabbalah we talked about the vessel. We talked about the light. You can't have light without a vessel. You can't turn on a light bulb without the encasing of the bulb itself. So you have to have light and then you have to have something to put it in. So how do we know if something's a vessel?
A vessel can only do two things - a vessel can share or it can receive. It can only do those two things. So if you think about it, humans can either share or receive. They can either give love or receive love. They can give money or receive money. They can give hate or receive hate. Humans can't really do anything else.
We can either consume food or create food. We don't really do anything else besides giving and receiving. And so that's how we know something is a vessel. That's how we know money is a vessel that's, you know, money is interesting. Money is paper that has different numbers on it, and we give it different value.
That's how we know it's a vessel -it either gives or receive. And so it's interesting that with people, we have to kind of remember that we are vessels. Our job is to give and to receive and find balance and that, which is very hard. Most people spend their lives either only giving. And feeling exhausted.
And some people spend most their lives only receiving and you know, they're experiencing overwhelming anxiety. There's, there's a lot of different ways to look at the vessel, but essentially you're either giving or receiving. And the battle of the soul is how do I live inside of a body? That is always trying to receive for itself.
If you think about it, the body needs to eat, it needs to sleep. It needs effect, it needs connection. It needs all of these things it's receiving, but the soul part of us wants to give, I want connection. I want to share. I wanna do those things- the struggle and the battle of the soul. It's really, how do I live in both worlds at once?
Kind of like we just were saying, how do I receive and how do I share? And so that's really, that's really how the devil works. And I think without knowing that it's hard to, it's hard to share, and it’s hard to receive properly. It's hard to share. I don't think we're at, I don't think we're educated on really how to work.
We're told to share when we're young. But I don't know if we are told how to share properly.
Kelly: Well, this is the, that's a great segue because those of you who've been in my yoga classes and my workshops. I always talk about the vessel. I think of a glass of water, and basically you take the water and you want to give from your overflow. So that way there's continuity. So it's not a like giving from an empty cup.
The other thing too, is that if you take that water glass and you shake it, up, so say you take a water glass and you have it in your hand. And you shake that hand. What comes out is what is inside. And I do believe that our stories are based on the combination of the thoughts and the actions and the emotional experience based on all of our past experiences and or even traumas.
And it's the emotional experiences that, You know, these are these limiting thoughts, going back to self-limiting beliefs, maybe that you weren't good enough. Maybe it's an illusion of perfectionism, an illusion that you should be more or anything that makes you feel less than, and these leave powerful scars. What's inside is what comes out and what we express in the world.
So let's lay out for everybody the top three Subconscious Blocks. I'll start.
So the first one would be like, number one, I don't deserve blank. You can insert success, financial wealth, a successful relationship, but like I don't deserve.
David: Yeah. I think, I think the top three would be. I don't know. I mean, there's so much verbiage you could use. I think the top three would really be Shame, Guilt and Regret.
I think those are the top three most limiting beliefs.
Kelly: Shame, Guilt, Regret. I like that. And if I put those in words, I would say I don't deserve blank. I can't blank or it's too painful. Like, you know what I'm saying? So those same things set a little bit differently. and I want to go back to the I can't, or I'm not capable because, that may not resonate with some people, maybe turn it one 80 and call it excuse mode, because you know, there's, there's people who are like, I can't, because.
My husband needs me. I can't because my children, I can't because X, Y, Z. And I'm only saying this because I'm just going to do a personal share. You know, I found myself super busy, as, as a mom and, but I wasn't necessarily feeding my soul on projects.
I'm making this sound worse than it is. But what I was doing is I was using self-sacrificing mode, to be self-sabotaging. So it kind of goes back to that shame, guilt regret or whatever. And, and I'm sorry for the interruption and, and digressing a little bit, but I know that there's a whole lot of subconscious activity going on and I just want us to all hold ourselves accountable. And, I want us to be honest and be very vocal about mistakes that we made in our past. Because you know, I had a very pliable and plausible excuse with putting my family first. It all sounds really great, but if I'm going to be real honest, it was another way of making me feel self-important.
David: Well, listen, there's a reason that people used to follow Kings and Queens, right? I always find it very interesting the way that societies used to be set up where the common people would just serve the King and the Queen and everybody was okay with that.
And there wasn't a lot of uprising against that. Because the reason people loved that was because the idea behind it was that these people will take care of me. I don't have to take any personal responsibility. There's someone who will do it. And we still kind of have that mentality today, whether it's with government or with our families or with our parents or with our spouse, when we start.
We start doing that or making what we, what I would say now is making excuses. It's really just saying, I don't really want to take personal responsibility for saying yes for saying no for trying something new. And especially right now, and in a world that's kind of on pause and shifting and moving and that personal responsibility, it really isn't a choice anymore.
You know, we used to be able to decide if we were gonna take it or not now. It's kind of just being handed to us on a silver platter. Like, here's what you need to work on. Here's what you need to conquer here. You remember that fear you had about losing money? Here it is. Remember that? Remember that regret you had about this? It's going to come up again.
So now in a time where the world seems to be again in Gemini, speeding up and you have to start taking responsibility for things and the excuses. You can make it for you. I make excuses all day, but at the end of the day, the universe doesn't really care that you have an excuse.
Kelly: The universe is doing fine. Just keep living Groundhog's Day. So, then, let's give three tools to penetrate that. Penetrate and cut off that limited belief system, and transcend from shame, guilt, et cetera.
David, but how do we break free from this limited belief system?
David: The first step is you have to identify what the beliefs of things are specifically. So obviously we on a podcast can say shame, guilt, and regret, but, I don't want people to seem to think, okay, how do I work on my shame?
Well, first of all, what is the shame, what is the regret, what is the guilt? Do you have guilt when you're not around your children? Do you have guilt because you haven't talked to your parents, do you have guilt because you got into a fight with your friend 20 years ago and stopped talking?
You have got to get very specific with yourself because it's your life, right? It's your situation. So that would be the first step is really to find where I feel shame where I feel guilt, where I feel regret. I didn't put fear in that list because I think. Fear is the result.
If you add, if you had shame, guilt and regret into a blender, you're going to get fear.
Kelly: Absolutely hitting it straight on. We're going to go to the pain, et cetera. We're not skimming the surface where this is about deep work. Okay. So this is how we go through, we hit it straight on gateway for blessings. Keep going.
David: Yeah. Okay. That's actually, it's interesting. It's a gateway for blessings because, the other thing that you have to understand is that when I, for the first step is to clarify and identify, the second step would, would be to prepare myself for the challenge. Again. Okay. So I want to work on my, my guilt that I have with this.
You know, let's say with my father, I have guilt because I don't call this person. Or I haven't talked to him in years, whatever, whatever it is now, the second step is I have to prepare that the universe is going to say, okay, David. I hear you. I'm going to give you another chance, right? We're going, that's what the Tikkun process is.
It's saying, you have to learn the lesson. You just kind of, now you're doing the work to learn it. Now we're gonna give you another, another opportunity. And so the first step is clarifying it. The second step is preparing for how to deal with it when it resurfaces.
Kelly: So clarify, they basically need to do a lot of self-reflection, write lists, write you know, places where they feel like they shy away from pain when it becomes too great.
David: Yeah. I think the first thing is to write them down, right. You've written make a list, make a list of all the things you, all the areas where you feel shame it doesn't by the way. Sometimes something happened to you that makes you feel shame that you didn't do, but it's still on that list.
You know, we still are responsible for dealing with our pain, even if someone else caused it. So shame - make a list here, guilt -make a list, regret, make a list specifically what it is then prepare. So I know that I feel regret for missing this opportunity. I feel regret for treating someone a certain way. How am I going to prepare to change that? So create a plan, I'm going to call this person. I'm going to confront this person. Again, with shame, if someone caused you pain, your confrontation might have to happen through telling your story, sharing with other people so that they don't have to experience pain.
So what's my plan to actually deal with, you know, the shame, the regret, and the guilt? Once you have all of that, once you have the plan ready? I want everyone to know. Cause you said earlier to clear a pathway for selecting the miracles.
Blessings and miracles do not come in in a lovely fluffy package. My teachers have always taught me when you receive a blessing, you have to kind of visualize that light is traveling down. And what happens to light when it's in darkness? It gets covered by insects and mosquitoes and flies and moths. And that by the time it gets to you, it doesn't look like light.
It looks like a ball of bugs.
Who wants that? Right? Who wants, who wants this ball of bugs? In fact, usually when blessings show up, we, we push them away as quickly as possible. That's why we miss out on so much. So I think the first part is clarification. Second part is planning, but the third part is having the consciousness that I want to receive the blessing, which means that I'm okay dealing with those bugs. I'm okay. Knowing that that's going to show up, it's going to look like chaos, but as I clean off, you know, that blessing, I then begin to see that there's light in here. It kind of comes in a shell. I have to crack it open.
Kelly: Yup. I listen, I have to interject. So like, one of the things that I definitely did is just pushed away pain.
You know, I was, I was taught, Hey, Kelly, keep that smile on your face and be happy. And, I had to get really real and be okay with knowing that pain is temporary. And it was kinda like I had to learn to break a feedback loop. I was spending so much energy, keeping negative thoughts and feelings and pain away.
And when I just allowed myself to feel my feels, you know, I gave myself permission to not be perfect, and to cry and to grieve and to be angry. And, and those emotions when I fully felt them, then those emotions, subsided and dissolve like a bath bomb. And I'm not joking. I was in the bath this weekend. I literally, I had it.
I drew it. I draw a bath on Sunday and actually girlfriends stay tuned because I have a line of bath bombs coming out. That will all be its very exciting, but that's next podcast episode. I digress, but yeah. That's a great place to cry. And I just, I, you know, I was, I was crying about all kinds of things, those crying just about COVID. I was crying about George Floyd and I mean, there was just so much pain and just my heart just needed to feel that. And that's just something that we all have to give ourselves permission. Yes, I meditate. But a lot of people haven't gotten to this place of meditation.
I mean, I'll get you there girlfriends! I have lots of meditation videos. You can work with me one on one, but you know, sometimes it's literally, you sit still and it just all comes almost like a tidal wave.
David: Something, you said something interesting. You said pain is temporary and it's. I think that's, if pain is temporary and pain is also necessary.
And I think, and listen to me - you have two choices in life. We can either experience pain and then receive a blessing, or we can keep pushing pain away, which is really the blessing. And then we experience long term suffering.
So really it's like, if you have a toothache, I hate going to the dentist. I am afraid I actually still have to get my wisdom teeth pulled, because I'm afraid of going in, being put under, and having to recover. I'm totally afraid. But what does it do? The longer I wait, the worse, it gets. Every day I have an ache in one of my teeth. And I wonder with that tooth and all this, like the suffering is so prolonged when really I could just go tomorrow.
I can make an appointment, have the teeth removed, suffer, you know, have pain for a week and then move on with my life. But we don't do that as humans. We are not wired to go, "oh, pain? I want that!"
Kelly: Yeah. So let's just start learning how to have a throw down and, and get journaling, get to writing and quit running away from the pain and be willing to, embrace it for a minute.
David: Yeah, you got it. What makes a Kabbalist different than any other spiritual person is that they see darkness and they run towards it. They run towards it, they embrace it. They love it. That's what they live. They don't spend a lot of time with the lights. They spend a lot of time in the dark, which seems kind of counterproductive.
But it's those dark areas that we, once you start feeling that pain and transforming it, which is easier said than done. But once you started doing that life starts to become lighter. The result is light, right? You want to, you want to create light.
Kelly: Absolutely. And actually when I first met David five years ago, this was actually one of the conversations that we were having. The light that is behind all that negativity is only revealed by knowing that you can handle those feelings.
And that's why I teach yoga and meditation and breath work because for me using those tools allows me to feel the sadness, the pain, the hurt, the rejection, the heartbreak, and when I can feel them and experience them in my body. That's when I'm most connected to my soul. And that's when my perspective shifts to unlimitless and I know that I can truly handle anything and I'm tapping into my super powers.
And you know, girlfriends, I got you, you know, let's go into the depths of your heart space and if you need heart opener videos, I have free videos and meditations on my website. GirlfriendsGuru.com and, you can look at that later. So let's keep going.
So what's number three as a way to access the light and potential energy?
David: I think the third one really is about the consciousness part and knowing that the blessing is going to be covered in darkness. But I think once that gets there, trying to understand how we received something is very difficult.
Receiving is very, very difficult. But the funny thing is that receiving is our only job. We're taught that we should share, which is, which is very true. We should share, and that's where a lot of fulfillment lives, but receiving is what a vessel does, right? A cup receives water, right? It's the cup was created to receive something.
Humans are the same. We were created to receive light, but for some reason we have a very hard time receiving energy. And I think it's because our relationship with it is, you know, if light, if you think about it, when we think of light, what is light? Light is all encompassing. It's every good feeling. It's everything you'd ever want.
It's all the money you need. It's the soulmate. It's happiness. It's, it's all of that into one. Now, if I were to come up to you, Kelly, and say, "Here you go, I'm going to give you all the things you've ever wanted in one moment”, what would you do?
Kelly: It would be, it would be like, when we talked about the 990 stories.It would come crumbling down pretty quick.
David: You would be very anxious. You would be happy and you wouldn't know how to handle it. It's kind of like someone who wins a lottery. What a great blessing. An individual maybe has gone from very little money to a lot of money, but a lot, a lot of times, what we see is that when someone wins the lottery, their life gets worse and it's not because there's negativity it's because there's too much light.
So I think when there's too much light, then the vessel can't handle it. It feels like chaos. Imagine pouring water into a cup. And you just keep going. Eventually that cup overflows, and everybody starts to scatter and try to get a napkin and try to clean up and get the mop. It becomes chaos. Water itself is not bad.
Kelly: Or you have a holey vessel. And I've talked about that, too in my classes where you have, your vessel might be more like a colander and basically you receive, and then you give it away. You share. And that's actually something that I've had many teachers, work with me. And let's talk about that share piece because, I am a big believer that another way to access the light and potential energy is the energy of sharing.
But you do have to make sure that you're not giving it away too quickly. You have to make sure that your vessel doesn't have a lot of, pinpricks and, and that you're not leaking out the sides. But once you have a full container, I do think that there is something about the desire to receive, not for the self alone for, but for the sake of sharing that is through circuitry.
And, I think that there is something really magical and helping someone else break free from their limited belief system. By encouraging and telling someone else that they can do it too. So let's talk a little bit about that sort of inspiring another and lifting each other up, because I know that you do that on a day to day basis.
David: I want to clarify for people that. I think people misunderstand what sharing is. I think people go, yeah, I want to make more money so I can give more money. In fact, there's a famous saying that we all say, Oh, I won the lottery. I would give to charity. Well, no, no you wouldn't. And, and it's a nice, it's a nice thought, but no, you would have, and maybe, maybe a little bit, but if you won the lottery, you would do a lot of different things and you probably have a lot of chaos.
Like the people that win the lottery. So it's just sharing isn't about, I need to receive more. To give more, right? The receiving to share means that I need to receive from other people in order to allow them to have the fulfillment of giving. I listen to everyone knows how to share it, right. If I have a bottle of water and I see someone thirsty, I share, right?
That's, that's a very simple level that we should all be at. But real receiving to share is when I give other people the opportunity to give to me, So that they can feel both the fulfillment of giving. If you think about all the times in life that you felt good, it's usually when you were giving to someone, I bought them dinner, I gave them a birthday gift. I paid for their college tuition and they didn't know it. I feel good about doing those things, but receiving to share doesn't mean I'm going to make more money to give more money. It means I'm going to give other people the opportunity to give so they can experience fulfillment.
Kelly: Absolutely. And if you're listening to this podcast right now, the universe is going to give you this opportunity to use this tool. Trust me if you're hearing it, it's coming up for you, right?
David: I see. I feel like the best way. If you have children are really good analogy about. Receiving to share is really when, if you think about, if a child comes to you and give you, a drawing they've done, you know, you don't need that drawing. It's probably not very good, but why did you take the drawing?
Kelly: Cause you love them.
David: But what if you didn't take it? What, what happens to them?
Kelly: Oh, they would crumple up. Oh, they were just sad.
David: Exactly, so when I receive the drawing, I'm not receiving it for myself, I'm receiving it to share. I'm receiving it so that they can experience giving. And that's what receiving to share means.
Kelly: So. We've talked about so many different things and given so many tools for transformation. The quarantine is beginning to lift. The energy is starting to lighten we're in the new moon, energy of Gemini and, you know, I do want to stop for a second. I keep talking about new moon and various podcasts, and I do want to talk about new moon energy in general.
It's an opportunity to plant seeds for the coming month. And so basically at a new moon, it's an opportunity to be proactive in your intention setting so that you can have the most elevated consciousness. And I'm not going to go into this much further in this podcast. Because I have a very fun podcast coming up for you guys in July.
I'm going to introduce to you David and I's friend and astrologer, Joshua Robbins. And we're going to talk more about that in July. So make sure if you're new to this podcast, make sure you hit subscribe so that you don't miss it, but I'm coming up. We have our full moon and that's when we kind of have to let things go.
So we'll talk more about moon energy, but just in the meantime, notice when the moon is full, and notice when it is new, and we also have the mid part of our summer coming up - summer solstice. So we have a lots of different moon energy. So stay tuned to moon energy. So let’s have one step back into what we can do.
David, recap for us what we can do to take control of our lives, so we're not that rinse and repeat of the Groundhog's Day and let's continue to tap into the energy of unification and balance.
David: Yeah. So like we said, the first step would really to be clarifying where you're feeling that Shame, Regret and Guilt. Again, we didn't say fear because fear is the result of all those things. After we identify that, we then want to prepare ourselves and create a plan for dealing with the issue, whether we're just preparing ourselves mentally and physically for that issue to bring itself back up. We want the universe to give us that opportunity again. And so we're preparing for that, right? Someone wronged me. I need to confront them. I wronged someone I need to ask for forgiveness. I need to create a plan. A lot of times we just jump into action and then it causes, sometimes, more chaos.
So when I say plan, I mean really thought out. Planning and processing of what I should do to be proactive. And then, and then thirdly, really understanding that I need to be able to receive what's coming. I'm going to ask for forgiveness. I need to be able to receive whatever the answer is going to be.
Maybe the answer is no, but I have to be in a state of receiving. And I also have to understand that light doesn't come in the form of light. Light many times comes in the form of darkness. And my job is to crack that shell open and reveal the light. So I would say the two things that people should really be focusing on, especially in this month is how can I reveal light in the dark areas? How can I recognize that dark situations or dark moments in my life are actually filled with light? How can I crack them open, right? By creating a plan. And also, how can I get into a state of this seeding to share, how can I position myself in my life so that other people can give to me? And I can allow them to have the feeling of giving.
Kelly: David. It's a lot. It's a lot. I think that, you know, we just also need to inject some patience. You know, I think COVID has been an amazing time for mastering boredom. and some people may not think of patience as pain, but, Or maybe I should say impatience is pain, but, I certainly think that we have all experienced a little bit of discomfort over the last few weeks. And if we can catch these feelings and we can recognize them and we can sit with a little bit more patience than we can transform it into overcoming our pains, correct?
David: Yes. Get uncomfortable.
Kelly: David, thank you. From the bottom of my heart for being with me today, your love and light has just as always pierced my soul, just like it did when we met over five years ago. I am thrilled, and so glad to share you with all my girlfriends.
Again, you can find both of us in a variety of platforms. David at DestroyTheHairdresser.com and on Instagram and all kinds of social media platforms. And myself at GirlfriendsGuru.com. Check us out, feel free to email me or use social media with any of your comments or your questions that you have, because feedback is important.
I want to bring you content that resonates with you. So if you like today's podcast, please be sure to share with another girlfriend, leave a five star review and leave comments in the comment section. Girlfriends, I'm ready to support you into your greatness and continue to bring you transformational tools for you to tap into so you can unleash your wholeness and tap into your unlimited self.
Thank you for listening, love and light and together let's find our wings and fly! Namaste Girlfriends.
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Thank you for listening. I hope today's episode has filled you with love and light.
It is always my goal of every podcast to touch your heart and help you transform in some way. And if you are like me, when you find something you love, the thing you love even more is sharing it with another girlfriend to follow and download this podcast, go to GirlfriendGuru.com as well as iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you find your favorite podcasts.
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The light in me sees and honors the light lit within you together. Let's find our wings and fly, Namaste girlfriends.
